Rogan Botty Kurtty and All The Other Miss Matchups
by Bdbelley
Summary: What happens when Rogue and Bobby find a website called Fanfiction? And why is Wolverine dressed like Elvis with hot pink hair? Oneshot


**A/N:**

**As most one-shots on this website, this was written out of boredom. And also, I was sick and tired of sifting through all the Roguexlogan stories on here just to get to the good, action ones. Im not saying I dont like Rogan, it's fine, but there's too much. If Rogan stories were made of water, it would flood the entire northern hemisphere. We need Canada! So please, only you can prevent forest fires.**

**So, with that being said, here is a random Breaking the 4th Wall oneshot!**

**P.S. *Disclaimer* I do not own any Marvel Characters mentioned in this story!**

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It was your average winter's day at the mansion. Bobby, with an alias of Iceman, was sauntering down the hallway towards the rec room where all the other students went to during their free time. Break had just started so he decided to do something productive- by playing flash games on the internet. He really wanted to try the new game called 'Monster Dirt Bikes 2'. He entered the room and grabbed the only computer across the room before anyone else could.

Bobby opened up the internet explorer option and went to Google. Rogue walked in and stopped when she saw him at the computer desk in the recreation room. Smiling, she walked over to him.

"Hey, Bobby," she said.

"Oh, hey Rogue," Bobby replied, glancing up to see her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, watching him search for flash games on Google.

"I don't know. I'm pretty bored, actually."

"I heard of this great website where you can read stories on, if you wanna see it," she said and pulled up a chair next to him. Kids walked past them, some behind them at the pool table, most near the flat screen T.V. propped up on the wall.

He grimaced. "Reading? Listen, Rogue, I don't read," he laughed, "I'm not book smart."

"Oh, these aren't like boring books, they're short stories based off things. I was meaning to check it out."

"Fine, let's see it then."

Rogue reached over and pulled the keyboard away from him.

"Hey!" he complained.

"You're bored, are you not?" she said. He nodded. "Then Rogue controls the computer."

He grimaced again. "Baby..." she muttered as she began typing into the web browser.

He stuck his tongue out playfully as Rogue put the keyboard back up. Looking up at the screen, Bobby said, "Hey, I've heard of this before. Fanfiction," he read off the screen, "_Unleash your imagination._ Well, that doesn't sound _too_ boring."

"See, I know you'll like it. So, which category? There's crossovers and normal fiction."

"Let's just do the normal ones first. Oh, click on movies!" he said and pointed to the _movies_ tab.

Rogue did and up came a huge list of different movies.

"Dang," she said, "Look at all those. Sooo many stories. Which movie do you wanna read about, Bobby?"

He shrugged. "Scroll down, let's see the options."

She went down as they scanned the screen. Bobby's eyes fell upon the movie that was close to the end. Rogue noticed it too.

"X-Men... the _movie_?" Bobby said questioningly. "What is this website?"

Rogue's eyes widened. "Someone made a movie about us?!"

"Must've been good, just look at all the stories about it. 10,388," said Bobby and he whistled appreciatively.

"Okay, this is weird," Rogue said and clicked on it. Up came pages upon pages of stories. She clicked on the character list. All their names were on there!

"Rogue! Look, there's your name!"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you think I didn't see that?"

He ingnored her.

"Oh my god."

He pointed to a story on the screen. It was labeled _Rogue's Heart in His Hands._ He started laughing, before he even read the summary. Rogue's face turned read.

"What is this about..." she said and she began to read the summary.

_Rogue has left the school, only to be followed by Logan. He convinces her to bring her home, but through other means. Not by persuading or forcing, but by love. His love. Rated T for sexual implications._

She scoffed. "What in the world? Logan... and... me? Now that's just weird."

"Look, it's labeled as general/romance. You don't have... romantic feelings for... him, do you?" he asked, very amused at her face.

"No, no." she shook her head. "It's a plutonic relationship. We're friends! Nothing more. Nothing like this fanfiction is describing. Why would I leave, anyways? I love it here!"

Bobby smiled. "Well, good. We can't have you running off now can we, shugah," he imitated a southern voice as he said 'sugar'. She snorted at the impression.

She looked to the second story. She sighed when she saw the summary.

_It's Christmas time at the mansion and Rogue has a special gift for Logan. It's time for her love to come out and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas- compassion._

The next one was almost the same, minus the Christmas. The next, well, that was just plain embarrassing. As she read the summary she blushed. She would never do those things with Logan. The next one after that was another one. It was marked as 'Rogan'.

"Aww, how sweet. They're putting your names together," teased Bobby. "Like Brangelina!"

"Hmpf. If you were in a fanfiction, it would be labeled as Bonkey."

"Why is that?" he asked and clicked on one story about Pyro and Magneto getting together.

"The only thing that could ever like you is a donkey. Bobby plus donkey." She laughed at the disgruntled look on his face. It lit up then as he read more about the 'Magro' story.

"Wow. Pyro and Magneto sure can put up a pretty steamy kiss scene." His voice changed to be dramatic and low. "_It was dark, all but for a single candle on the cellar's walls. Magneto advanced forward, his cape swishing and wrapped his arm around his fire – manipulating friend. "I know what you are," Magneto whispered, and they kissed, wrapped in each other's arms, savoring the forbidden embrace,"_ read Bobby.

Rogue laughed even harder, all the thoughts about Rogan gone. It was worse enough, pairing two opposites like Rogue and Logan together but _this. _It was too much.

"Ahh, the wonderful world of slash," said Rogue.

A few minutes into the story, someone walked up behind the two who were laughing their butts off as Pyro threw Magneto against the bed, ripping off his boots.

"What's so funny?" the voice asked.

The two turned around as they saw Kitty come up, followed by Jubilee.

"Yeah, I want in!" Jubilee chimed.

They showed the two girls the website who stared at it in disbelief. After reading, though, they were in hysterical fits of laughter as well.

After finishing the disturbing story, leaving all four of them in confused, muddled thoughts about their friend, Pyro and enemy, Magneto, Bobby clicked on a 'Rogan' fanfiction.

Through the story, it explained about the angst-y troubles of Rogue and Logan and how they worked it out in the end after finding their long lost daughter.

"What crack head thought of that story? No way will I ever have a kid. Especially with Logan!" Rogue said after turning red in the face as they read the ending line that explained of their ever burning love for each other and their family.

"I don't know but it's just wrong," said Kitty.

"Yeah, really. Still, it's funny as hell to read," Jubilee said, still grinning.

"Oh-oh, search for me, me, me!" begged Kitty and pouted her lower lip. She was almost bouncing off her chair that was clustered with the others around the computer table.

Rogue went to the characters list and clicked on Kitty's name.

A list of stories came up with Kitty's name.

"What the hell is Kurtty?!" she almost yelled, seeing one story marked as 'Kurtty'. She felt as embarrassed as Rogue was with the whole Rogan ordeal.

"Apparently, you and our little blue friend has a very strong... relationship," said Bobby, teasing her. "Oh, look. There's Pyro again. Looks like there is Kemy, Kurtty, Kyro and..." he stopped reading as he saw the next match up. _Not him,_ he thought.

"You forgot Botty!" laughed Rogue. It felt nice to be out of the spotlight with awkward Rogan fanfictions.

Kitty sunk lower in her chair. "Gosh, now I know how Rogue feels about _her_ stories..." she muttered.

"Really, all these people write about is our love lives," said Bobby.

"Hmm... this one looks promising. Not anything romance-y about it," said Jubilee and pointed to one fanfiction. It was labeled _Sleepover Mansion Marathon._

"Of course _you _would like that, Jubes," said Rogue.

_Kitty and Jubilee have a brain blast and decide that everyone in the mansion needs a pick-me-up after the whole 'Cure' endeavor. They invite everyone they can think of to come to their party in the danger room, which was refurbished to hold a sleepover. Craziness ensues!_

"It's by a writer named LoganHasMyHeart93," said Bobby and they all burst out laughing. Who would be this crazy to name themselves Logan's lover?

They read the first chapter, where Kitty and Jubilee round up everyone to bring them to the Danger Room. It starts off with a karaoke chapter where Logan sang 'Wild Thing,' while dancing the whole time. According to the author's description, his hair was hot pink and shaped like Elvis hair. Remy got on stage and sang 'I'm Too Sexy,' which made him do a striptease in front of everyone.

Next was Bobby who sang 'You're Hot and You're Cold' with Pyro. They all couldn't stop laughing as LoganHasMyHeart93 explained how they were secretly dating.

"This story is insane," Jubilee said and laughed as she read about herself as she took the mic from Bobby, saying that he was a terrible singer in the fanfic.

"And confusing. I'm reading about myself in a karaoke contest at a sleepover in the danger room," said Rogue and shook her head.

They enjoyed themselves for half an hour, just searching through the outrageous x-men fanfictions.

"What's so interesting?" said a gruff, familiar voice behind them. They all jumped and turned around. Logan was standing there, looking the same as usual- no hot pink Elvis hair. One look at him and they all burst out laughing again as they remembered the stories about him. He seemed to be the main event in the X-men category. He raised an eyebrow.

"Look, Rogue. It's your _sooooul mate,_" teased Bobby and made kissy noises at her. Logan growled and Rogue blushed, narrowing her eyebrows.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Wolverine asked, walking towards them to peer at the screen. They all moved their heads and hands so as not to let him see the website and stories about him.

Rogue sighed. "It's this website, Fanfiction. Here, look." She shooed the others away from the screen. Everyone cringed back, not wanting to be touched by Rogue's death hands.

She showed him the main search area where the most recent stories sat. Logan narrowed his eyes even more, which Bobby thought was humanly impossible, seeing as they were basically parallel to each other now on his face. After 5 seconds of reading an outrageous story where Logan tab dances with the talking frog from looney toons, he growled and sliced the computer in half, sending sparks everywhere.

He walked out without another glance behind himself, leaving all eyes on the back of his head, wondering what the hell was going on.

Rogue, Bobby, Kitty and Jubilee all looked at each other, straight faces for a second and burst out laughing. Bobby stopped the quickest though as he surveyed the ruins of the only computer in the mansion.

He really wanted to play Monster Dirt Bikes 2.

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Review, if you like. ^-^.

*Please.*


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